Updated with feedback from CodeReview.SE: https://codereview.stackexchange.com/q/176680
Q&A for Drupal developers and administrators
SELECT PostTypes.Name, Posts.Id AS [Post Link] FROM Posts INNER JOIN PostTypes ON Posts.PostTypeId = PostTypes.Id INNER JOIN Users ON Posts.OwnerUserId = Users.Id WHERE ClosedDate IS NULL AND Score >= 0 AND ( Reputation < 1000 OR ( Reputation >= 1000 AND LastAccessDate < GETDATE() - 90 ) ) AND PostTypeId NOT IN (6, 7) AND ( Title LIKE '[abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz]%' OR ( Title NOT LIKE '%?' AND ( LOWER(Title) LIKE 'is %' OR LOWER(Title) LIKE 'are %' OR LOWER(Title) LIKE '%wh[aeoy]%' OR LOWER(Title) LIKE '%how%' ) ) OR Body LIKE '%[ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz]([ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrtuvwxyz]%' OR Body LIKE '%[ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrtuvwxyz])[ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz]%' OR Body LIKE '%[ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz],[ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz]%' ) ORDER BY PostTypeId ASC