Find short "useless" comments

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DO NOT auto-flag comments using this script. Insure the comments don't have any useful information

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WITH Instants as (
  Select '%thank you%' as Value
  UNION
  SELECT '%accept%answer%'
  UNION
  SELECT '[+-]1%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%you_r%welcome%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%your%welcome%'
),
Likes as (
  Select '%thanks%' as Value
  UNION
  SELECT 'thxs%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%no prob%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%no worr%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%it works%'
  UNION
  SELECT 'flag[^a-z]%'
  UNION
  SELECT '[^a-z]flag %'
  UNION
  SELECT '%vote %to %close%'
  UNION
  SELECT '% voted%'
  UNION
  SELECT 'voted %'
  UNION
  SELECT '%vote%helpful%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%sounds%like%homework%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%what%have%you%tried%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%mark%answer%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%accept%rate%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%mark%accept%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%lease%accept%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%answer%correct%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%add%answer%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%post%answer%'
  UNION
  SELECT 'done[^a-z]%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%[^a-z]done%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%lmgtfy%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%google%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%updated%'
  UNION
  SELECT '[("][+-]1%'
  UNION
  SELECT 'welcome%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%idk %'
  UNION
  SELECT 'idk%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%my %pleasu%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%edited%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%any %time%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%happy %help%'
  UNION
  SELECT '% sure%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%include%sugg%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%sh[i]t%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%p[i]ss%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%c[u]nt%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%w[h]ore%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%b[i]tch%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%c[u]nt %'
  UNION
  SELECT '%f[u]ck %'
  UNION
  SELECT '%d[i]ck %'
  UNION
  SELECT '%d[i]ckh[e]ad%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%as[s]hole%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%b[a]stard%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%d[a]mn%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%c[u]nt%'
  UNION
  SELECT '% w[t]f%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%w[t]f %'
  UNION
  SELECT '%[^a-z]r[e]tard%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%rtfm%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%stupid%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%i[d]iot%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%your brain%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%jerk%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%i[d]jit%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%silly%'
  UNION
  SELECT '%[🍅⬆️💖👍🍏😂😙😭🚀🤣✨🤗😍💯👁️🤦😔🍺🏆😘👀🔥👏😱🙀💥🐋🐳🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿👍🏿👌🏼👏🏼 😑😩😀🆔🙌🏼🤯💡😃😐͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏😇👍🏽🙏🎉👍🏾🏀🏈🏉⚾️⚽️😮]%[🍅⬆️💖👍🍏😂😙😭🚀🤣✨🤗😍💯👁️🤦😔🍺🏆😘👀🔥👏😱🙀💥🐋🐳🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿👍🏿👌🏼👏🏼 😑😩😀🆔🙌🏼🤯💡😃😐͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏͏😇👍🏽🙏🎉👍🏾🏀🏈🏉⚾️⚽️😮]%'
),
MyComment (Id, Text, Normal, Fast, CreationDate)  
AS  
(  
SELECT 
  c.Id,
  c.Text,
  (
    SELECT count(*) FROM Likes
    WHERE lower(c.Text) Like Likes.Value
  ) as Normal,
  (
    SELECT count(*) FROM Instants
    WHERE lower(c.Text) Like Instants.Value
  )*10 AS Fast,
  c.CreationDate
  FROM Comments c
  WHERE len(c.Text) <= ##Length:int##
),
Final (Id, Text, Found, CreationDate)  
AS  
(  
SELECT 
  c.Id,
  c.Text,
  (sum(c.Normal) + sum(c.Fast)) as Found,
  c.CreationDate
  FROM MyComment c
  GROUP BY Id, CreationDate, Text
)

--SELECT 1 FROM Likes WHERE 'thanks stupid' Like Likes.Value;
--UNION
--SELECT 10 FROM Instants WHERE 'thank you, you_r welcome' Like Instants.Value;

SELECT TOP 500 Found, CreationDate, Id as [Comment Link]
FROM Final
GROUP BY Found, CreationDate, Id
ORDER BY Found DESC, CreationDate ASC
-- Add aim to please, well spotted, best answer

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